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Table Settings

Note: Self-esteem comes from being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness. Surely eating out is a challenge to many of us. However, it will not be after learning these simple rules that are a part of our culture.

  1. The woman or guest follows the Maitre de to the table and sits where directed.
  2. If the host is placing the guests, the best view is given to the guests.
  3. Napkins are placed on the lap as soon as one sits down. If one leaves the table prior to the termination of the meal, the napkin is placed in the chair.
  4. Wine glasses will be in the center and Water to the right. The knives and spoons will be on the right and the forks to the left.
  5. If wine is ordered and you are requested to taste it, feel the cork for firmness, then smell and taste the wine. If there is doubt, you may ask a guest or the sommelier to taste as well.
  6. Use implements from the outside toward the plate for each course.
  7. While seated, the back should be straight, and food should be brought up to the mouth.
  8. The elbows should stay down near the sides of the body.
  9. Service is usually left to right, I.E..e., the course is served from the left and the plates are removed from the right.
  10. The soupspoon is filled with a motion away from the table edge. If the bowl is tilted, it should be done away from the edge of the table.
  11. After finishing the soup, the spoon is left in the saucer--never in the bowl.
  12. Anything served in a cup with a handle should be drunk from the cup (like a mug). If there are vegetables in the soup, they may be eaten with a spoon.
  13. Food should be kept within the center part of the plate; it should be cut and handled neatly. Do not over-load the plate or fork.
  14. Cut only one piece of meat/fish/fowl at a time.
  15. Two bites should never be taken from the same forkful or two sips from the same spoonful.
  16. When pausing in the middle of eating, the fork should be placed across the middle of the plate with the handle to the right and over the edge. The knife is placed across the upper 1/3 of the plate, handle to the right.
  17. When finished, the fork and knife should be placed across the middle of the plate in line with the edge of the table. Handles should be to the right with their ends inside the rim and the knife blade toward the table edge.
  18. The mouth should be wiped before drinking, and the mouth should be empty.
  19. Bread, rolls, muffins, etc.. should be placed on the butter plate to your left and cut or broken in half before being buttered or eaten.
  20. Salad should be cut with the side of a fork.
  21. Anything that went into the mouth with a spoon or fork should come out with the same. If it went in by hand, it comes out by hand. Example: pits or bones.
  22. An implement used by one person should never be used to take food from any dish containing food for others.
  23. Condiments are placed directly from the serving dish onto the plate. Gravies are poured directly over the food.
  24. No food is ever put directly into the mouth from the platter without first being put on a plate.
  25. Food that is served already portioned should never be refused.
  26. Chew silently with your mouth closed-never slurp liquids.
  27. Butter "curls' are always taken with a fork.
  28. When asked for the "salt" or "pepper", always pass both salt and pepper together, preferably to the right.
  29. When passing food, always pass "over the chest" to avoid tipping over glasses.
  30. When food is served "family style", the plates and platters should always be passed to the next person on your right.
  31. Clearing is done after everyone has finished. Do not request the waiter to remove your plate before everyone is ready.
  32. At a formal dining event or at an elegant restaurant, the woman never speaks directly to the waiter when ordering. She gives her order to the gentleman, who then gives the order to the waiter. (This is quite traditional and no longer holds true in some areas.)
  33. Men stand when women approach or leave the table.
  34. Women never make-up at the table.
  35. Diners are never rude to those who serve them.

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