Home > Curriculum > Personality > Questions for Selecting a Mate
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- Are you good Friends who have Fun together?
- Is there Admiration as well as Attraction for each other?
- Do you Communicate and Cooperate well together?
- Do you Trust and Respect each other?
- Are you Supportive and Kind to each other?
- Do you have your main Interests and Values in Common?
- Do you Love each other the way you are now?
- Are you both Committed to making the relationship work?
When we are serious about another person, we spend a lot of time thinking about them. An innovative way to learn about your friend is to interview them. I suggest you keep an interview notebook or pad to put down every question you have about your friend. If you have trouble remembering the questions, you might even take it when you are together and make the interview a game. It is flattering to have others interested in what we like to do, where we like to go, where we have been, how we grew up, what we think about issues, etc. The possible questions are endless. The very important questions regarding family, faith, finances and marriage roles will need to be discussed as the relationship become more serious. You can never find out too much. If you ask all the important questions prior to selecting a mate, there will be very few surprises after marriage.
It is often stated that opposites attract. This may or may not be true but it certainly makes the relationship more difficult and less likely to last. When couples have little in common, making everyday choices becomes a problem and the big decisions are almost impossible to negotiate. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you will be able to change your mate after marriage. If you can't work out your problems to begin with, you will not be able to after the rings are on your fingers. A relationship that is rocky at the start will likely end on the rocks.
You both will change during the marriage and hopefully in ways that will cause you to grow together rather than apart. That will take attention and effort. However if you can answer the questions above positively and if you truly love your partner as they are, your commitment to make the relationship work, will enable you to do so.
How self-esteem helps to manage a relationship break-up.
To hear a portion of this radio interview click "YES."
To hear the entire interview click click "YES."
Home > Curriculum > Personality > Questions for Selecting a Mate
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