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Gisele Ben-Dor
Music Director
Presentation to the SB Council for Self-Esteem - 10/17/03
The following is a wrap-up by Betty Hatch, founder of the Santa Barbara Council
for Self-Esteem, of an hour-long presentation given by Gisele Ben-Dor to an
enthusiastic audience at the Schott Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Gisele Ben-Dor takes responsibility for all that she does whether grand or
small. That is how she deals with things. She believes that the moment is extremely
important. She makes mistakes—in public! When she hears coughing and fidgeting
in the audience, she feels she may have done something wrong. But she has to
keep going and adapts, always giving 100%.
She grew up with strict parents and formal teachers. She was trained to be
moral and ethical and to behave correctly. Though she was subject to criticism,
she learned that her actions caused appropriate results. Being Jewish, she was
different. Again she learned to adapt (“Era extranjera”).
During Gisele’s first major audition, she did the best of all the candidates
in every subject. She was the only female. She was made fun of and felt unappreciated
and that her talent had been demeaned. “Everyone knew that great composers
and therefore great conductors were all men!”
After the audition, though offered positions around the world, she eschewed
them all and returned to Israel for two years. Those who laughed learned “not
to mess with her”! She felt too good about herself to accept offers, after
the way she had been treated. That training came from her relationship to her
father, her mentor. He had always praised his first born child as “the
greatest thing that had ever happened”. He saw only the good in Gisele
and lauded her as a genius to all. At home, Gisele received love and respect
for doing well.
(Now Gisele has led, amongst others, the New York Philharmonic, London Symphony,
London Philharmonic Orchestras, Los Angeles Philharmonic, Boston Pops, Israel
Philharmonic, and the Houston Symphony. She has been the Music Director, Santa
Barbara Symphony Orchestra since 1964.) None of the excitement, glamour, or
fame of her life has compared, however, to the “greatest thing that ever
happened to her”. It was a call from her son at Duke to tell her she had
made an “A” in statistics. She has lots to think about and many
things to worry about but with the call, all else was erased from her mind.
She was ecstatic!
Gisele gets depressed often, but she doesn’t show it. When she wants
to turn off her “thinking”, she meditates. She says it is not good
to look at ourselves the first thing in the morning. What works is to “get
out of ourselves” and think of others. She has committed to life long
learning and says it’s best to “just do it”—take action.
Gisele related a story about a farmer, who went to a wise man to ask how to
find peace in his little house with eight children. The wise man told him to
add one of his animals at a time to live in the house with the family. After
adding the third animal and telling the wise man that things were worse than
ever, he was told to “take the animals out of the house”. This man
then found peace.
Gisele Ben-Dor is a leader of “the wrong gender”, who has had to
please everybody—do the impossible. She sparkles, is soft, yet powerful;
she is exciting, electric and humorous. “Es simpatica, una maestra.”
We have learned today to:
1. Take the animals out of the house.
2. To not look at ourselves in the mirror first thing in
the morning.
3. To remember to give 100%.
4. To think of others and contribute to them.
5. To be grateful for our talents and our professions.
6. To Be proud of our children and praise them in public.
7. To Read our resume when we are feeling bad about ourselves.
8. To commit to life long learning.
9. To get outside of ourselves.
10. And that if she can, we can “Just do it.”
Finally we promised “not to mess with her” and rewarded her with
smiles, applause and gratitude for gracing us with her time, talent and insightful
presentation to the Santa Barbara Council for Self-Esteem.
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