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Paul Orfalea
Founder of KINKOS
Speaks for the SB Council for Self-Esteem - 03/04/03

When our speaker, Paul Orfalea, arrived lines of people were forming to enter the auditorium and several walked right up to Paul to welcome him, ask questions and make their personal connections. One young man, John Ireland, was his minister who had come to cheer him on.

The meeting began with greetings and announcements by our president, Willa Young. She then introduced one of our SB Council Core Members, Dennis Forster to make the formal introduction of Paul. Dennis began by asking, "Why are we here on planet earth?" One of the answers given was to enhance the lives of others. It was clear that Paul Orfalea had enhanced the lives of thousands of his "co-workers", several who were in attendance.

Paul began his talk with a personal, warm, "stream of consciousness" style, which continued for over an hour. He started with "his story", which included his "worst faults"-1). Horrible reader (he is dyslexic), 2). Not the least bit technical and 3). Hated school and was expelled often. By the time he had finished high school he realized that he had two choices. Either college, women, beer and school or fighting, war and body bags. He chose the former and then began to tell the audience all the things he thought were wrong with our school system.

He feels strongly about the detrimental effect of grades and constant competitive measuring with others, believing that learning to work with others and learning to co-operate is much more valuable than cramming, soon-forgotten, information in order to make a good grade and compete with others. He maintains that life skills, such as how to "tumble", play, and have fun as well as how to save money, need to be trained and encouraged in very young children.

He is glad to be a visual learner and believes it is far more instructive to learn by looking than by listening to what others say or reading mounds of books about what others think. Books usually give answers to questions; Paul goes through life asking questions. In fact he asked the audience what you would say to your child or grandchild when they present their painting on returning from grade school. Unfortunately, I announced, "That's a great job." Paul set me straight with the better answer, "Tell me why you did the painting and what it means to you? Are you happy with what you have done?"

Most of his common sense, wisdom, and values came from his family and relatives, who were all entrepreneurs. There was never a question in his Lebanese background of which he would work for but rather, "What business will you be in? He feels that dinner table conversations and lively interesting discussions, along with reading the newspaper are where children learn the most.

The question of self-esteem at the age of 20 was somewhat debated. Paul thinks that since a young person of that age has no idea of who they are, where they are going or what they want to be that self-esteem is not possible in such confusion. I took issue during my wrap-up of his talk stating that I know and have known many young people at that age and younger with high self-esteem and definite knowledge of whom they, were, where they were going and what they would eventually do with their lives.

When Paul opened his business, he said he was thrilled to hire others who were "smarter than he". His motto was "anyone else could do it better". Not being a good student, and feeling incompetent caused him to trust others to help him. Rather than slapping the hands of his employees who made mistakes, he kissed them and gave them the opportunity to learn their jobs. In fact, Paul is so technically challenged that his staff requested that he NOT come behind the counters to help them!

Words are important to this very verbal, non-reader. His two most hated words are sin and evil believing that most people are intrinsically honest, caring, loving, trustworthy, and good. He believes in catching people doing what is right and sharing it with them. He is working now with young people and elder folk by supporting consistent, quality, early care. He thinks there may be a connection between upper body strength training that enhances brain function and enables reading to come more easily.

There were a few suggestions Paul gave the audience with conviction and passion. He wants all of us, young and old, to support school bonds. He feels that diversity is important to the American way of life. He says we should all schedule three weeks of vacation at the beginning of every year and do our best to balance work, love and play. One hour of every day should be spent being "stupid" and doing nothing, so our minds can process what's been absorbed! The women were encouraged to nag their husbands often about creating relationships, taking care of their bodies, and making family and fun a priority in their lives-he says it's the women that keep their men young.

We laughed, learned, and left feeling better and smarter having heard and enjoyed Paul Orfalea!

Betty Hatch,
Founder Santa Barbara Council for Self-Esteem

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