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Roger Durling
Executive Director of the SB International Film Festival
Presentation to the SB Council for Self-Esteem - 04/13/07
The Introduction
By Bob Hodges
Our guest speaker today is Roger Durling.
Roger came to the United State from Panama where he was born. He attended Columbia University earning a graduate degree.
Fortunately for us he is actively perusing his passion for films in Santa Barbara as a writer and teacher of film studies at our local colleges and .
He has been at the helm of the Santa Barbara International Film Festival for the past four years. Or as he describes himself, "I'm the poster child for the Film Festival." When he arrived on the scene the festival was floundering and he was an unknown but he has since become the key man as Executive Director, tuning it into a very successful event.
Recently the Cannes Film Festival selected Roger to be the programming director of its American Pavilion. Putting this into perspective; the Pavilion is the communication and hospitality area for Americans at the French film fest where panels are held, deals get made, and press, celebrities, and fans hang out.
So, the big question is; how soon will Roger be moving up and out of Paradise. I am expecting a negative response to that question, today, Roger. If this is not enough he is also involved in a few other activities. He writes a column about film entitled Roger Durling's "THE BIG PICTURE" in The Santa Barbara Independent. He serves on the Board of Directors of Santa Barbara's Downtown Organization and Doctors Without Walls. In 2004 he was chosen Santa Barbara's Citizen of the Year. Today Roger is here to present his thoughts on a subject beyond the industry of film. He will be presenting his thoughts on self-esteem; what it is, how he achieved it and how he maintains it for himself.
In his own words:
"I have struggled for many years to gain self-esteem, and it has come slowly
- after understanding my strengths and limitations - and especially after learning to own, celebrate and cherish the latter."
Please, give a warm welcome to Roger Durling.
The following wrap-up is by Betty Hatch
Announcing how "nervous" he was, Roger Durling meandered the front of the room like a caged animal, while he told us that he was so nervous about this presentation that he almost set his office on fire before joining us. "I was burning a fragrant candle to calm myself down when I unconscientiously passed a paper over the flame and then threw it in the trash!" The flames were quelled successfully and here he was full of energy telling us that the only thing he was good at as a child was picking Oscar Nominees!
He mentioned having a weekly meeting with his therapist to work on his self-esteem and said that he hoped he would be able to tell us how those with low self-esteem could learn to function in life. Then Roger told us his story. He was born into extreme poverty--"Poor as dirt." The floor of his home was literally dirt and the bath room was an out house.
Roger begged his family to let him go to the United States, he applied for a scholarship for high school and was granted it in New Jersey. There, where he did not speak the language or belong, he found solace by going to the movies. He loved the theater; it was like a cocoon, an escape that fed his life-long obsession with film. Though Roger was a very good student, he was ashamed that he was not good at math, could not make commitments, and that intimacy was very difficult for him.
After graduating from Colombia, Roger moved to Los Angeles and he hated it.
When he visited Santa Barbara, he fell in love with it. He opened a small restaurant that he named "The French Bull Dog." There he learned to relate with people enjoying the discussions that often revolved around movies. He had read about the Film Festivals and how people could attend movies all day, every day for several days. After visiting one and finding himself "in Heaven, in Nirvana," he began to wonder why Santa Barbara didn't have the best film festival in the world. Those who knew him suggested that he become a member of the board of the SB International Film Festival. The rest is Santa Barbara history. Though he says he doesn't communicate well, can't manage people, and hears the one negative comment made to him over all the positive acclimations regarding his performance, he related his ten "Rogerisms" to us.
- Always look on the bright side of the situation; the glass is not
half empty.
- Don't be afraid to ask for the things you want-the worst thing that
can happen is that somebody will say no. But at least you know you tried.
- It is ok to fail-it's not ok to give up.
- Houston, we have a problem. Getting men back from the moon when
they're stuck in a capsule is a problem. We encounter situations every day
- see them as challenges. See them as things you can solve. Keep on top of them. Don't let them overwhelm you.
- Stop blaming other people for things; take stock of yourself. Take
responsibility. If your life's in a rut, get out of it. If something's
not working, move away from it.
- When you have a situation - don't waste time pointing fingers -
solve the problem - fix it first and then process what went wrong.
- Count your blessings. You have food- you have your health- you have
friends-you have people to love and love you back.
- When you see yourself in your mirror- focus on the things you like
about yourself.
- Cherish you faults and limitations.
Roger suggested we embrace our faults, celebrate them-own them-that understanding our limitation is a great sign of maturity.
- Whatever you do in your life- whatever choice you make- keep your
integrity. If you set your mind to it, nothing is impossible. A difficult task is just a slightly different mountain to climb, and if anyone can reach that goal, it's you. Break the situation into its micro-components and tackle it that way.
While Roger spoke and shared the intimate details of his life, he described himself throughout his presentation as ugly, a loner, a looser who was depressed, a lonely lunatic who could not even add. He continued to roam the front of the room, gesturing, fingering the mike stand, twisting his spiked hair, jumping occasionally and causing the audience to laugh and cry with him.
What we saw was an exciting, successful young man with great humility and a terrifically open heart filled with humor and appreciation. Roger is an immigrant, grateful for being in the United States, passionate about his work and willing to teach others the value of forgiveness and the rewards of appreciation. He is the attractive, passionate, enthusiastic and exciting leader of the SBIFF with a vision and goal of staying in Santa Barbara and creating the biggest and best film festival in the world. He is also one of the few speakers that has received a standing ovation from the SB Council for Self-Esteem audience since 1989!
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