Home > Stories > True Holiday Miracles > Cooking Up a Miracle in 2008
 Print Version
Not a Newsletter
Betty famously doesn’t cook--that fact was well established before she and Stan were married. It isn’t that Betty doesn’t know how to cook; she actually tried it in her prior life, and didn’t like it much. Her exact words were, “I’d rather eat peanuts than cook!”
As a child, her mother had insisted she stay out of the kitchen for fear she might break something. This pre-disposed her to a life of eating other people’s cooking.
Betty and Stan were clearly meant for each other. Stan didn’t cook either. Thrilled that she was marrying a man, who came equipped with a kitchen-ready housekeeper, Betty settled into a life of non-culinary bliss. Then it happened: Twenty-six years into the marriage, in December 2007, the resident housekeeper departed for Dallas, leaving the couple with a refrigerator full of food and not a clue what to do with it.
Betty seemed willing to forego eating altogether and thought it a splendid opportunity to buy some size sub-zero dresses. Stan, on the other hand, went into survival mode: turning the gas jets on and off; pushing buttons on the microwave to see what would happen; taking food from the freezer and placing it on the counter to see if it would become edible or, at a minimum, chewable without further processing.
Then the miracle happened: Stan started experimenting and, with a little help from Google, he found out, according to Betty, he was a “natural.” A garden was planted and daily salads were produced -- no two of which were ever the same. His specialty became the Waldorf salad; the only constant ingredient being the apples. As his experience increased, the morning omelets earned extra points for “degree of difficulty.” The meals became several courses (if you count meat and vegetables separately). He established notoriety for his ability to put a meal on the table in 15 minutes from the time he thought about it to his saying “Bon appetite.” The congratulatory praise from Betty included: “Wonderful!” “Scrumptious!” and “I’ve never tasted anything quite like this!”
It was considered a miracle, but when analyzed soberly, it is Stan’s suspicion Betty would eat rusty old campaign buttons if it kept her out of the kitchen.
May your miracles be delicious and arrive quickly in 2009!
Home > Stories > True Holiday Miracles > Cooking Up a Miracle in 2008 |
